Laughing at myself

I'm trying to learn to take myself less seriously.

Howt to catch a spider bare-handed

There's this huge spider in my bathroom. I hate spiders. They are my worst enemies. But this wiki-how article made me laugh. Look at the warning section.

(Since that is a wiki-like page, I suppose it can change any time. I thought it was funny because the warning section simply says some spiders are deadly after telling you to catch a spider by covering it with your bare-hand.)

But... hmm.. what to do with that giant spider?! I think it's a huntsman...

(Update: Ah, this is better.)

Unbreakable Umbrella

I want one!

(HT: Bruce Shneier)

James Fong Update - 2-May-2008

James Fong updated his xanga. As usual, his post is full of praise for God and action-packed for Jesus.
1) He wants to know what we prayed for, so he can report back how God has answered our prayers.
2) He says he can't sleep well thesedays and asks for prayer.
3) He found out that he ate bull semen! (Yes, this is true. Go and read the whole thing.)
4) Prayer request for Zoe's recovery from a flu.
5) Encouragement from James:

May I encourage you all to continue to make the most of the health God has given you while you have it, to fearlessly and confidently share the gospel with all your might until the Lord returns.

Read the whole thing.

Their Engrish - 19-04-2008

A friend sent me this link from the SMH. Plenty of gems there.
Some of my favourites from the article were mostly the names of various dishes:

"Dongda Hospital for Anus and Intestine Disease"
"Racist Park"
"bean curd with feeling"
"young chicken without sex"
"government abuse chicken"

How funny.

(Thanks Hannah!)

James Fong Update - 09-Apr-2008

Even as suffering from a heart failure, our mighty James Fong "flashed" the premier of New South Wales, Morris Iemma today. Nice work!

You can read about it here.

Please continue to pray for James and Janet, and the family for God's continued protection and providence.

Bits and pieces - 3-Apr-2008

Overcome Contradictory Compassion - by John Piper
Sleep tight! - Unfortunately this doesn't seem like an April Fool's day joke. (HT: Bruce Schneier)
Stuff Christians Like - A blog I just discovered thanks to ThinkChristian

A little annoyed, but kind of in a good way: about counselling.

Although I was laughing by the end of it, at first, I was slightly annoyed by this video posted on Tim Challies's blog. Tim's thoughts following from the video was fair enough. But the video itself annoyed me because not all our life problems are as trivial as this video shows them to be. I believe the pain and suffering of the most of those who seek professional counselling are real and serious. I believe many people do not seek professional counselling at the first sight of a problem. They try to deal with their problems themselves first, and often for a long time before they knock on a counsellor's door. Tragically, some don't even make that far. Many of these people, I believe, had been struggling valiantly with their real and serious, sometimes even life-threating issues. And for them, even making an appointment and showing up to a counselling session in itself is another step they had to take as part of their fight for survival, a humbling confession that only a desperate person can make, yet it requires tremendous strength within, for without the strength, one cannot humble himself enough to admit he needs help. That is why some of those people who really need help do not seek help. I am not intending to say badly of them, I am simply saying that it is incredibly hard to even seek professional help such as counselling when things get really rough.

Having said that, however, this video did have merit, or usefulness, in my opinion. Just for some, this video might prove to be useful as a check-up. Just promise me you will remember, the advice I give in the following is entirely based on my own limited experience only and not on any proper research at all. So you will do well to take this with a grain of salt.

Watch the video:

1) If you watch this video and can laugh, you are probably healthy enough emotionally. Just make sure you do not dismiss real problems some people have to deal with too easily and be sensitive sensible with them.
2) If you are slightly offended or annoyed like myself, you might be a little depressed, so take care of yourself. Whether you need a professional counselling or not is probably up to you at this point.
3) If you are greatly offended and always offended whenever you think about this video, I'm sorry that it offended you, but it might be wise to talk to a professional counsellor.

I sswear to drrunk, I'm NOT God!

I read a blog post of a friend the other day. Apparently her friend, under the influence of alcohol, uttered a profound statement.
'I sswear to drrunk, I'm NOT God!'

At the first glance, it was funny.
Then it came across as ironic and even profound.

It is obvious what he was trying to say: "I swear to God, I'm not drunk!" While common, it is a silly thing to say. You are clearly drunk, yet you are denying it. It is silly because nobody's going to believe you, and it is a little more than just silly because you are making a false statement. You are swearing to God (at least that was the intention), which on its own a very serious matter and shouldn't be done lightly as to blaspheme His name, yet you are doing that over a trivial fact, whether you are drunk or not. Much more seriously, since you are drunk, you are already blaspheming His name by using His name for a falsehood.
However, the alcohol brought a bitter sweet effect of its own. He mistakenly said 'I swear to (the) drunk, I'm NOT God!' By that, he admitted he wasn't God and he was adamant about it that he even swore to a drunk (possibly another drunk guy next to him or not). Only under the influence of alcohol was he able to make a truthful statement about himself. Tragic.


Now, if this post did not make any sense, I'm sorry, I feel as though I failed miserably with this one.

Friendliest annoucement you will hear when on a plane

(HT: Cliomedia)

Bits and pieces - 17-Mar-2008

Oh, no! The internet is going down! in 30 years... or not.
Turn Signal Jacket for Cyclists. - well... I think this is a good idea, but when I looked at it I just couldn't help myself but laugh.
Vision of God - Luther Style

Toys... security toys... toys, really? What on earth?

Airport Theme!!!

bonus - from the reviews on the second item:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I've heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I'll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).

(HT: The venerable Bruce Schneier)

How did a hacksaw end up stuck in a 11,000 volt power cable?

Apparently an attempted theft.
It's one of those funny, but not then not really funny stories news. I'm finding it hard to believe it still!

What the REAL programmers use

I don't think most of my readers here would get this, but it was really funny for me.

It's Friday! - 1-Feb-2008

1. Eating a canned cheeseburger (that's right, I do mean a cheeseburger in a can!)
2. Canned Bacon!
3. A nice photo of a goliath grouper

My Engrish - 7-Jan-2008

Ah... it was only a matter of time I guess...

Last Friday it was... Yes, I said it.

I speak Scotland!

Why do I get confused between these two? Weird...

Funny...?

Uh oh...

My Engrish - 2-Jan-2008

We were playing cards...
I said: I'll be wonning.
Translation to English: I'll be winning.
Seriously, that was just a weird mistake.

Below are not my mistakes, but still funny.

We were fishing...
Mango said: As soon as I threw my line in, I got nipples.
He was meant to say: I got nibbles.

We were playing monoploy... (again)
Hanoh said it again: one houses each!

Bwahahaha

Read my previous posts here, and here.

My Engrish - 26-Dec-2007

In the past week, the most memorable Engrish I spoke was:

I'm from Scottish!

Of course I meant to say I'm from Scotland. I was trying to imitate the Scottish accent, and I ended up hearing my friend say, "you need to learn English first..."

Bonus:
My friend Hank was excited while playing Monopoly today, and said, "Hey, it's $25 for one houses each!" What! One houses each!! Bhwahahaha But then, what can I say, I am the one who once said, "let's read one verses each" and "let's take photo of one feet each!"

Gosh...

Why speak English when I can speak Engrish?

I am born in South-Korea and came to Australia when I was 16.
As you can imagine (or at least you can tell) that I still struggle to grasp the language of Australia, English. I am not very self-assertive person, nor very out-going. In fact, I am very introverted, reflective, and introspective.

This personality of mine plays on how I speak in English time to time. At times, when I am with people I am not quite comfortable with, I struggle much more than usual to speak in English. Pronunciations that I am familiar enough normally around my close friends become much more challenging when I am at some unfamiliar place or even at work. I forget the phrases I know, and stuff up the grammar I am used to.
When I make a mistake, I feel embarrassed, and it makes me even less confident about how I speak, then I speak even less and struggle more and end up making more mistakes. Such goes the vicious spiral downwards...

But, when I think about it, I don't really need to be self-conscious and feel embarrassed. It probably will help me to be a bit more light-hearted about it and laugh when I make mistakes or someone points them out.

So, here's what I'll do on my blog.
Time to time, when I make a mistake speaking in English, I'll post it up here.

and... first of such posts, here it goes...


Few days ago, actually, it was a few weeks ago now... (I saved this post a while back) I was at work, and was talking to another programmer, Nick. We were discussing a programming issue we had been trying to resolve, and decided to talk to another programmer/supervisor, Dan. When I checked to see if he was at his desk, he wasn't, and I said to Nick, "eh... maybe later, he's not on his desk."

!!!

'on his desk???'

I felt my face warming up.
'He's not AT his desk, not ON!'

All these 'at', 'on', 'in', 'by', and such words always confuse me.

Well, my good work colleague did not say anything about my statement, but just understood what I meant and didn't make me feel more embarrassed. Thanks, mate!