P plate fine

Driving back from Canberra last Sunday.

Me: Oooh, ok, there's a police car behind me with lights on. I'm gonna have to slow down and stop.
Wife: Really?
Me: I hope I wasn't speeding, for a moment, I might have gone over the speed limit, I don't know. If I have, this might be my first time getting caught. :-(
Wife: ...
Police Officer: This is a random breath testing, can I see your driver's license, please?
Me: Oh, yep. (feeling confident and relieved that it's not about speeding, handed over my license.)
PO: Please count to 5 here.
Me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. (feeling more confident. Of course I didn't drink any alcohol that morning, nor the night before.)
PO: Ok... I also noticed that you didn't have your P plate displayed at the back.
Me: What?!?! No, really? It must've fallen off somewhere.
PO: No, well, you show me where you had it on. Just watch the cars driving past.
Me: Yeah, sure.
Came out of the car, walked around to the back. And, of course, just as PO said, it wasn't there.
Me: Oh, ok... but... but... I normally have them on, just here. (Pointing to the right side of the number plate.)
PO: So, when did you have it on?
Me: Urm... yesterday...? (O how I wish I did not say that...)
PO: See, there's dust here where you are pointing, you didn't have it on for a while.
I started walking around to the front of the car, thinking, "surely, the front one must still be there."
PO: Yeah, the front one, do you have the P plate at the front?
Me: What!?!? (To my shock and horror, the front one was missing too.)
PO: Where do you have it on, usually?
Me: (Somewhat unsure this time, point to the right side of the number plate) Around here...?
PO: There's dust and bugs as well here. See, you didn't have them on for a long time. You lied. I don't like being lied to.
Me: (By this time, I was so shocked and started feeling miserable, had my hands on top of my head.) I.. I have spare P plates in my car, I'll put them on right now.
PO: Yeah? I got lots of them. I can give you some if you want. Do you want them?
Me: No, no, I got some here. I'll just put them on right now...
PO: Well, I'll be right back, this won't take long. (Walks back to his car.)
Me: (getting back into my car and to my wife) Whe... when did we lose our P plates?
Wife: ... I don't know...?
Me: It must've fallen off somewhere and we didn't realise it for a while.
PO: (returning to us) You have driven without your P plates, and there was dust and bugs on the spot where you said you had your P plates on, obviously you did not have the P plates for a while. You are receiving the penalty and the instructions are on this paper. Do you have any questions?
Me: .... no.
PO: Ok, sorry to keep you waiting, have a nice day. (Walks away.)
Me: ... (sigh) ...
Me: (drive away)
... silence in the car for several minutes ...
Me: Sorry, Sulahya. I should've checked.
Wife: That's ok. (smiles)
Me: (sigh)
... more silence in the car for many more minutes ...
Me: Sorry, Sulahya, but... Arrghhh, I'm so upset!
Wife: It's okay. (more smiles)
Me: I mean, sure, I didn't have the P plates on. I'll pay the fine and take the demerit points, but why did he accuse me of lying?
Wife: ...
Me: I feel like writing a letter to the police department for an apology. I don't care about the fine, but why accuse me of lying?
Wife: huh. (small laughter)
... some time later ...
Me: Ok, ok. I have to confess that when I said, "yesterday...?" I was kind of lying. I didn't know whether the plate was on the car yesterday or not.... I just assumed it was on, and I was hoping that he would let me off with just a warning if I told him I had them on yesterday. I should forgive the policeman for accusing me of lying.
Wife: Ok.
Me: Yes, I forgive him. I decided to forgive him, and I forgive him.
Wife: Ok.
... some hours later ...
Me: Oh, I realise that I had been breaking the road rules many times, and I take this as God's gracious warning. I'm not even going to bother appealing for leniency. I'll just pay the fine and I will thank God for reminding me of His grace in my life.
Wife: Yeah... Ok.
... the next day ...
Me: (after paying for the fine online) Oh, God. I'm still upset. What is going on? Why, why am I so upset still?

[The dialogue with the police officer is as accurate as I can remember it. I wish I had the recorded conversation available to me.]


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Deep down, I am upset more because of the moral accusation of lying from the policeman than the fine I received. But there is also a sense of being trapped by him (when he asked me when I had the P plate on, since I just assumed I always had them on and didn't pay much attention to it) and also a sense of lost opportunity of appeal for leniency because I didn't say the right words at the time (the policeman informed me well that the conversation is being recorded). But, ultimately, I now realise that I am so upset and unable to let go because I am not satisfied with God's forgiveness and Jesus's righteousness imputed on me. I am hurting from PO's moral accusation because my heart was saying that God's promise is not enough! It is good time to remind myself of Romans 8:1, There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. O, that my heart be satisfied with Him!

I am not a fan of turning any of unfavourable life's events into some kind of lessons. There are cases where such approach may not be appropriate. But in this incident, I need to learn some valuable lessons, and they are:
1) Believe in Jesus who have paid for my sins completely. I no longer need to defend myself. No need to seek my own justification. Jesus is my justification. God declared I am forgiven. True, I am a liar, deserving eternal hell. Also true, that I am blameless in God's eyes, accepted into the blissful heaven where He reigns.
2) Resolved to be satisfied with what God says about me, rather than what people say about me. How long shall I go on fearing men, rather than God?
3) Resolved to speak truth only, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, all the time. Even in a situation where I *might* be able to escape a penalty by telling a half-truth, I must speak the truth. (In my recent experience, when the PO asked me when I had the P plates on, I should have said: "I do not know. I just assumed they were on, because I don't recall taking them off.", instead of squirming out, "... yesterday...?")
4) Resolved to keep to the law of the land to my best ability. It does not honour Jesus to break the law of this land.
5) Resolved to apply the gospel again and again to my own heart, knowing that it is both the sharpest sword to pierce my dull conscience as well as the most soothing balm to my hurting soul.

Also, from The Critical Question for Our Generation:

Ray Ortlund: “The worst this life can shove down our throats, but with the nearness of Jesus, is heaven on earth. The best this life can give, but without Jesus, is a living hell.”

I agree. And this whole event for the past few days, as much as my heart is still sore and grieving, has forced me to rely on Jesus more and for that I am grateful to God. It is His grace that I received this fine. It is His grace in my life that the PO stated the obvious that I am a liar. It is His grace that I continued to seek comfort from God. It is His grace that I can now say that it is His grace. It is all Him. I can boast in none but Jesus.

For those close to me, I ask for your prayers that I may be restored to peace and joy in Jesus.

A young boy, political opinions, and Christianity

Charlie, an 11 year old from Sydney, has written an articulate opinion piece, and it was published by SMH yesterday.
As soon as saw it, I knew it would become popular, nay, semi-sensational, and apparently it did, mostly because anti-Christian people naturally love hearing arguments against Christian activities. It almost doesn't matter whether it is a strong, persuasive argument or not, as long as it is against Christianity, or more accurately, their understanding of Christianity.
Anyway, the opinion itself was very well written, I thought, for an 11 year old.
But, I would make a couple of comments about the following in particular:

By all means, Mr Nile, you go out and be as Christian as you want; I respect that entirely. But that does not give you and your supporters the right to attempt to shape a future generation of adults in your mould – that is a religious conservative.

Firstly, you seem to have a naive view of political engagement. Anyone and everyone who comes into a political arena brings his own beliefs. A Christian brings his Christian beliefs and they form their opinions. A muslim is influenced by his beliefs. An atheist brings his atheistic beliefs (that is, there is no God) into his political opinions, and I'm sure he tries to argue his case in hope that his policies will bring good to the people and the nation. Not only this is inevitable, it must be this way. You try to separate a person's beliefs and his opinions, you get hypocritical opinions. You will never get a genuine voice anywhere, unless you allow people to live, act, speak from their beliefs. No doubt, the pervasive naivety about the separation of church and state contributed to your error.

Secondly, if you are simply opposing Fred Nile's opinions and his political influence, whatever your motivation, that's fine. Let me repeat that. I'm a Christian, and I support Fred Nile in some of his political opinions, but I will not stop you from opposing him, whatever your motivation. But there is difference between opposing a political influence and attacking someone's right to a political influence. If you are hoping that he should not be allowed to voice his opinions and exercise his political power that he has, then you are only asking for trouble. You are denying his right to a political activity. Ever heard of freedom of speech? You know what you get when you deny others' freedom of speech? Totalitarian society.

Charlie, you wrote very well, and I believe you have a talented mind. In time, you will be able to understand and articulate issues and opinions even better than this. Keep yourself humble, and keep learning. You have a great potential, and I don't say this to many people.

For the SMH editors and readers who had to rely on this article to express your thoughts, I don't have much commendation for you. Not because it's from an 11 year old (I have a great respect for young minds, you only need to be aware of just a little bit of history to realise the amazing capacity and potential of young minds), but because it's not very strong and articulate as you think. You are only betraying yourselves when you get so excited about this piece. You only exposed your own ignorance on the fundamentals of the democratic society of Australia which comes from a rich Christian heritage.

Prayer for the anxious

Ah, Lord. I feel anxious again. I feel this dread and fear. I am burdened. Forgive me my sin of anxiety. Heal me, God. Heal my heart of this dread, fear, this heaviness, and give me that easy yoke, the light burden. Let me rest in You. (Matt 11:28-30)

What Bible is not about

The Bible is not an ethical textbook. The biblical writers are interested in revealing God's plan of salvation. They were not concerned to integrate the scattered moral elements into a systematic whole. Moral ingredients are dispersed throughout the text of Scripture and when these ingredients are gathered together they do not in themselves present a totally comprehensive picture. There are many gaps, and these do not allow us to correlate everything into an entirely comprehensive arrangement.

p. 248 The how and why of love: An Introduction to Evangelical Ethics by Michael Hill

Take the bible as a ethical textbook, you will get some crazy religious people.
Take the bible as the progressive revelation of God's plan of salvation, centred on Jesus, you get a life-transformed (and transforming), love abounding people.

Easter weekend

Easter weekend is over and all I hear is how great or not-so-great their trips and dining experiences were. That's to be expected from non-Christians, but, brothers and sisters in Christ, how was your Easter weekend when you are conversing with non-Christians?

A note to myself: About Joy

A Christian hedonist says "God is my joy," NOT "joy is my God."
Delighting in the LORD and simply feeling delighted are two different things.
I must remember that.

Reforming our prayer life

If you are serious about reforming your prayer life, you must begin with your heart. Unconfessed sin, nurtured sin, will always be a barrier between God and those he has made in his image.
True, sometimes when we try to clean up relationships that have soured in the past, the other party remains intransigent. But that is between that party and God; you and I must watch our hearts.
This is true even when the offense has been entirely on the other side.

-- p. 76, A Call to Spiritual Reformation by D. A. Carson

Why do I serve where I serve, and why do I do the things that I do?

As someone who has taught seminary students for more than fifteen years, I worry about the rising number of seminarians who, when asked where and how they think they might best serve, respond with something like this: "Well, I think I would like to teach somewhere. Every time I have taught, people have told me I have done a pretty good job. I get a tremendous sense of fulfillment out of teaching the Bible. I think I could be satisfied teaching Scripture."
How pathetic. I know pagans who find satisfaction and fulfillment by teaching nuclear physics. In any Christian view of life, self-fulfillment must never be permitted to become the controlling issue. The issue is service, the service of real people. The question is, How can I be most useful?, not, How can I feel most useful? The goal is, How can I best glorify God by serving his people?, not, How can I feel most comfortable and appreciated while engaging in some acceptable form of Christian ministry? The assumption is, How shall the Christian service to which God calls me be enhanced by my daily death, by my principled commitment to take up my cross daily and die?, not, How shall the form of service I am considering enhance my career? This is not to deny that Christians may derive joy from work honestly offered to God, whether that work is vocational ministry or research into the properties of quarks. But it is one thing to find joy in the work to which we have been called, and another to make joy the goal of life, the fundamental criterion that controles our choices. It is one thing to weigh a Christian leader's evaluation of our gifts, and another so to focus on our perception of our gifts that self-worship has crept in through the back door. It is one thing to think of people as a live audience that will appreciate our displays of homiletical prowess, and another that passionately shapes each sermon to convey the truth to God's people for their good.

- p. 82-83, A Call to Spiritual Reformation by D. A. Carson

What challenging words. What truth! How often I take good works that God has called me to do into a kind of performance before them for my praise and sense of fulfilment! O, that God would bring a reformation in my heart!

Justification is not enough

Can it be said that justification is not enough for a Christian? Of course this needs some explanation.
I bring this to my mind because as an important and great ground the justification is for our reconciliation with God, yet, without the sanctification, and later glorification, what hope is there for a Christian? What joy of looking forward to the greater days to come is there? What strength of picking myself up after a stumble is there, if God is not working sanctification in my life now and there were no promise of glorification in the life to come?

Thanks be to God, that I am not only saved, but also being saved and will be saved through the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ!

Reflections after reading "Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor" by D. A. Carson.

An ordinary pastor. What does it mean to be an ordinary pastor? Carson's book certainly isn't intended to define what it means to be an ordinary pastor. Less was it to encourage pastors to be ordinary. The purpose and intention, as I understand, was to encourage pastors, but also any Christians, in their Christian walk. In that respect, he has produced a wonderful book. It sure has encouraged and challenged me to think about my life as a Christian, although I do not hold a title, pastor.

What was most striking for me from this book was, however, the title itself. Once I started learning about Tom Carson, the subject of the book and the father of the author, I could not help but feel that this pastor was no ordinary man. Sure, the size of the church he was ministering at never grew to a point where it could be called big or significant regionally, let alone internationally. He did not author a book. He did not start a seminary. He was not involved in a major theological controversy worth mentioning. In fact, even the book about him by his son concludes at mere 160 pages.
If these are what all counted in a Christian pastor, yes, perhaps the book was titled very aptly; at least his achievements were very ordinary, and I believe this is the reason the book was so titled. Yet, when I discovered the way he honoured others, even those who mistreated him so unjustly, or the way he put his sin of bitterness to death so promptly and persistently, or the way he rejoiced with those who were joyful with no reservations and envy, or the way he faithfully committed himself to God's sure word, the bible, day after day, week after week, year after year, the way he kept on loving his wife and his children through all the ups and downs of life, I found myself thinking that this is no ordinary pastor, but an exceedingly extraordinary one.

Then, I soon felt a slight blush. I was somewhat embarrassed for what I had just thought. To think that a godly character was an extraordinary thing in a Christian man revealed how low my moral standard had sunk. By no means I am trying to minimise the fact how great and wonderful Tom Carson was, the lasting impression I have from reading the book is my desire to be like this godly man. But to think that, simply because he was a godly man, although he did, of course, have some weaknesses, this pastor was no ordinary Christian, I believe I have a very slackened sense of Christian discipline and character.

That brought me back to agree with the title, "Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor." He was an ordinary Christian. Perhaps extraordinary by the world's standard in terms of Character, and insignificant by the world's measure of success. Nevertheless, he was a very much significant servant for God's mission and in His Kingdom, and very much ordinary in his character as far as God's moral vision for His people goes.

Now, what about me? I don't need such a godly man as Tom Carson to compare to reveal my short comings, an hour of drive together with me on busy Sydney roads will be more than enough. I might as well be called an "extraordinary" Christian in the opposite way in the Kingdom of God, if He was not so gracious to save such a sinner as myself. So I do not need to despair about my sins, yet, I can, nay, must set my goal ever higher; indeed Tom Carson is not my goal, but Jesus Christ Himself had set the ever clear and bright standard I must run towards. He had gone through the adversaries in life without stumbling, and now sits on the right hand of the Father and sent His Spirit to empower me in my walk as a child of God. How will He find me on the Judgment Day? Will He find me faithful?


(I highly recommend reading this book for any Christians wishing to be encouraged and invigorated in their desire for growth in godliness. You can purchase this book from Amazon, BookDepository, or Koorong.)