Fat souls are better than clean floors.

(Image source: Booko)

I can clearly remember one night when I was big pregnant with Blaire and realized too late that we were out of tortillas. I figured I would just make some quickly. When I started this project I was alone in the kitchen. About a minute and a half into it I had been discovered. Four chairs into the kitchen, four children anxiously awaiting a chance to help. I remember Titus actually bumping into the back of my legs with his chair and very politely saying, "Excuse me, Mama! 'Scuse me!" Then came the real action: Titus wildly dusting flour on the tortilla I was rolling, someone cracking into the drawer and passing out rolling pins. Everyone rolling, and dusting, and rolling, and wadding the dough back up and having a grand old time too. I looked out of the haze of flour and elbows feeling very ready to blow the whistle, and I saw my husband smiling at me and laughing. He nodded at me and said, "It's okay." I knew what he meant. Fat souls are better than clean floors. They were so delighted to be in the thick of it -- dinner was late, I could have slept standing up, and we were doing exactly the right thing -- throwing flour around the kitchen. And it was okay. I don't even remember cleaning it up (quite likely because I was asleep on the couch while Luke did it all!). Most of the time the children do not know that what they are doing is overwhelming.
  - p. 52-53, Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic (italics original)

There are times when we do need to pull our kids and tell them what are acceptable or suitable behaviours and what are not. But I am far more often tempted to be driven by my preferred lifestyle to shape their behaviours, forgetting that I must nurture their souls and connect with their hearts first. Fat souls are better than clean floors.

I am still reading this book through, but I highly recommend it to any parents, especially those who have or want to have more than 2 children. Try Booko to find the book.

Should the parents be held responsible for their child's crime?

I'm sorry to talk about this sad and terrible rape/paedophilia incident, so, if you are easily offended, please move on. Also, I am not a parent, so you might think I'm not qualified to comment on this kind of issues at all, but I am certainly a child of my parents, so I think I have at least some say in this.

In South Korea, an 18 year old with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) raped a 7 year old girl in 2006. He now is serving in prison his 10 year sentence. But then, the court also ruled that his parents were liable for his crime as well, not that they were involved in his crime directly, but by not bringing up their child properly.

The court said the boy had grown up watching pornography and had imitated a film he had seen during the attack.
It said his parents could have prevented the crime with appropriate education, but neglected their duty.
[...]
A court statement said: "The parents could have prevented the crime with appropriate education but failed to show enough attention to their child.

At first, I thought it was so bizarre to fine the parents for their son's crime. I still find it very strange. I am not sure if it is ever right to penalise the parents directly for their child's crime, especially the child is reasonably old, say, 16 years old or older. But at the same time, I can't help but agree that the parents should be held responsible or accountable for their child's behaviour to some extent, somehow. Or, if not for the behaviour of the child, then at least for the way they are taught and brought up in that household. No?

On a side note, I gasped when I read that the victim was a 7 year old girl. But I also found myself appalled at the fact that a monetary value was put to the "damage".

The girl's parents were seeking 225m won ($165,000; £111,000) in damages.

I am not so naive to assume that this kind of economic valuation does not happen, in fact, I know full well that these happen all the time. But, it is still quite upsetting to think that it does happen.