Content for his passage, not for his portion

A little in the world will content a Christian for his passage, but all the world, and ten thousand times more, will not content a Christian for his portion. A carnal heart will be content with these things of the world for his portion; and that is the difference between a carnal heart and a gracious heart.
- Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, p43

When you are brought low

God respects you as much in a low as in a high condition; and therefore it need not so much trouble you to be made low; nay, he manifests more of his love, grace and tenderness in the time of affliction than in the time of prosperity. As God did not at first choose you because you were high, he will not now forsake you because you are low. Men may look shy upon you, and alter their respects as your condition is altered; when Providence has blasted your estate, your summer-friends may grow strange, fearing you may be troublesome to them; but will God do so? No, no: ‘I will never leave thee nor forsake thee,’ says he. If adversity and poverty could bar you from access to God, it were indeed a deplorable condition: but, so far from this, you may go to him as freely as ever. ‘My God will hear me,’ says the church. Poor David, when stripped of all earthly comforts, could encourage himself in the Lord his God; and why cannot you? Suppose your husband or son had lost all at sea, and should come to you in rags; could you deny the relation, or refuse to entertain him? If you would not, much less will God. Why then are you so troubled? Though your condition be changed, your Father’s love is not changed. – John Flavel, Keeping the Heart, p50–51

Heart-work is hard work indeed.

'It is the hardest work. Heart-work is hard work indeed. To shuffle over religious duties with a loose and heedless spirit, will cost no great pains; but to set thyself before the Lord, and tie up thy loose and vain thoughts to a constant and serious attendance upon him; this will cost thee something. To attain a facility and dexterity of language in prayer, and put thy meaning into apt and decent expressions, is easy; but to get thy heart broken for sin, while though art confessing it; melted with free grace while thou art blessing God for it; to be really ashamed and humbled through the apprehensions of God's infinite holiness, and to keep thy heart in this frame, not only in, but after duty, will surely cost thee some groans and pains of soul. To repress the outward acts of sin, and compose the external part of thy life in a laudable manner, is no great matter; even carnal persons, by the force of common principles, can do this: but to kill the root of corruption within, to set and keep up an holy government over thy thoughts, to have all things lie straight and orderly in the heart, this is not easy.'  - John Flavel, Keeping the Heart, p19–20

Where do we learn obedience?

Far from being a distraction, the ordinary affairs of life – crying babies and cars that will not start – are in fact the context of God's call to ‘work out your salvation with fear and trembling’ (Phil. 2:12). The fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22–23) are not born in a vacuum. It is precisely in the maelstrom of life that we learn obedience.  – p78, Stuart Hitting theHoly Road by Stuart Coulton 

Thankful and sad

Today was the last Sunday at Toongabbie Anglican Church for us. We are thankful for the church who welcomed us, loved us, and helped us grow in so many ways for the past 4 years. We certainly learnt what ministry looks like when people stand confidently on the Word of God, and we also experienced love that overflows in the hearts of such people. And so, we are deeply sad to say good-bye to them. As Sammy said recently, without our time at Toongabbie, we wouldn’t be training for the full time ministry now. We move on to continue our training, but by God’s grace, we will always serve the same Lord, Jesus Christ, who is the one and only Saviour of the world. It seems fitting to quote this bible verse in memory of our time at Toongabbie Anglican: “Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne. (Hebrews 12:1–2)”

Christmas at Toongabbie Anglican 2015

A path that Jesus once took

Jumpy dots and numbers in red,

Shallow breaths and tubes with med.

Are we destined to this?

Unconscious, so far as we can tell.
Not in too much pain, doctors compel.

How sure are you?

It is only natural, someone had told me.
Maybe it was from that stupid movie.

Am I supposed to believe it?

Too scared even to touch his sleeve
Lest my hand be his last heave.

Go on, tell me I'm being irrational!

Then,
Slowing the pace.
And no more.

What am I supposed to think?

He's gone, God took Him.
He's with Jesus, all the better.

What am I supposed to feel?

Rage. Disgust.
Full. Empty.

What am I supposed to do?

Wait.
Yes, wait for the Day.
Wait.


  -- For my father-in-law  (1948 - 2015) --

Love your enemies

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Romans 12:19-20

Stephen stoned to death (image source: 

JEEVAGARAJAN)

And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice,“Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:59-60

“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” Matthew 5:44

For years, whenever I was tempted to take revenge against someone for an unfair treatment, I had to remind myself that God will judge rightly in the end. The fact that God will judge everyone according to their deeds was a source of great comfort for me. (Not that I was ever seriously persecuted for my faith...) Either you are covered by the blood of Jesus, or you will face God’s wrath yourself. So I was able to leave vengeance to God, knowing He will most perfectly judge. But, while this prevented me from perhaps hating or harming someone, I wonder if this is in fact a Christian response in its fullness. Has not Jesus told us to love our enemies and pray for our persecutors? Ware not the last dying words of Stephen an intercessory prayer for the mob who were throwing rocks at him?

It seems I have been focusing too narrowly on the part in Romans 12:20 that says, “heap burning coals on his head.” May God grant me grace that I may love my enemies, feed them when they are hungry, give them drinks when they are thirsty, offer up intercessory prayers for them, and forgive those who sin against me.

My grandmother and her gracious God

Just a couple of days ago, my grandmother passed away. She lived to a ripe old age, but her life was not without significant amount of suffering.

When she was pregnant with my mum and her twin sister, communists took her husband away, and she never saw him again. She became a refugee during the Korean War and travelled, on foot and by train, with her five children, from the North to Busan, the southern-most city of South-Korea’s mainland. She meticulously hid all her money while she travelled to keep it safe from thieves, only to lose it all to a con man.

Busan was over-crowded with refugees and she could not find any accommodation. After taking shelter under a bridge for few nights, with nothing to eat, she pondered whether to simply kill all her children and commit a suicide herself. Eventually, someone told her to go and ask for a shelter at a church. The church was already filled with refugees beyond its capacity, but the gate-keeper took pity on her and her tiny new-born twins, and took them inside.

She made living by buying some clothes from the US military, dyeing them to make them look different, then selling them at a civilian market. It wasn’t entirely legal, but the times were hard for everyone and she got by for a while.

Eventually, and quite extraordinarily, all of her 5 children survived, grew up and received good education. My grandmother herself was never taught how to read and write, but she learned to do so, partly because she had to for business, but also because she wanted to read her bible. Her hand-writing always looked like that of a second grade kid, but she read her bible with ease and clarity.

Her children all got married, and in time, she was blessed with 8 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren. She was never able to visit her homeland, somewhere in the mid-western part of North-Korea.

She was reasonably healthy for her age, especially when you consider the kind of abuse her body had to endure when she was younger. However, in recent years, with the onset of dementia, she deteriorated rapidly in terms of health as well as mental capacity. The near-loss of her moral judgment was particularly saddening, but her bible, and I believe, her Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ was never too far from her.

On the 16^th of July, 2014, my grandmother was finally released from her suffering. By the grace of God, my grandmother was saved from her sins and this decaying world, and she will resurrect one day in new heaven and earth, with the new glorious body, forever to praise God’s mercy. By the grace and wisdom of God, I came to exist through her family, and was taught the glorious gospel from my youth, and look forward to standing along side my grandmother and joining in everlasting songs of praise to our gracious God who is mighty to save.

"[God] will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." (Revelation 21:4 ESV)

In 2012, with her then youngest great-grandchild, John.