Pray for me

"Pray for me."

That's what I said to a friend on our way home from a harbour cruise.
It was almost 10 years ago.
It was also the very first time I was totally intoxicated with alcohol. I wasn't even able to sit properly (I was on the bus next to my friend).

While I was so drunk that I couldn't handle my own body, and my mental ability degraded to only a little above that of a mere infant, I said "pray for me."

It is still strange to me that I said such a thing when I was drunk and to a friend whom I barely started to know.
Yet, as I look back on that moment, it appeals more and more as an example of God's faithfulness.
I remember myself being exhausted from daily routines (how ever mundane they were is not important) and pressure I and people around have put me to. Drinking, while I did not know how deep the hole was, was definitely an attractive escape route.

But, while I took the matters to my own hand rejecting to trust and obey Him, God still protected and led my life proving His faithfulness to His Word and His people. Those words I spoke to my friend asking to pray for me were not the proof that I was trusting God so much that I knew prayer was what was needed. Rather, I believe it was God who knew my short-comings and He knew my needs. "Pray for me" wasn't a much a plea to my friend, but to God who remained sovereign in all things including my life. As I was feeling so weak and helpless because of intoxication, it was only a natural response that could come out of a God's elect child as His Spirit worked in even at such a moment.

After all these years, I am being reminded of that moment more and more especially in recent days.
I don't get drunk like that anymore. I could say I've learned my lessons now. But my disbelief in God's sovereign grace, that God has got everything under His gracious control, still leads me to look for some other escape routes, namely, books, TV, internet, games, whatever.

Perhaps it is time that I start asking again. "Pray for me."
May the Lord be merciful to me.